Part 1: The Wild Start – Battling Winds, Frozen Hands, and Shattered Phones
The time is here. Myself and my brand spankin’ CFMOTO 450MT is locked and loaded. I’ve had it kitted out with most of B&B Off Road Engineering’s catalog, and it’s time we kicked off our trip. I left on Saturday, July 20th from Ballarat, and let me tell you, the weather was absolutely ruthless. 90 km/h winds greeted us as we met up with my mate Sam, riding his trusty CB500X. We hit the road around 9:30 a.m., taking the back way to Moyston via Mt Emu, and right away, it was clear we were in for one of those rides.
Sam had heated grips, but me? Nope. My hands were frozen solid within the first hour, and I was starting to question my life choices. Things got worse as we rolled into Pomonal—the winds were even stronger, and then, disaster struck. My phone mount failed, sending my phone smashing onto the ground at 80 km/h. My spirit took a hit, just like my phone screen, which was now toast. Worse yet, all my maps were on that phone, and I was stuck with a shattered screen, and shattered ego.
Into the Wind and the Woods
The wind was absolutely mental as we made our way into Halls Gap. It was so bad I genuinely thought a branch was going to come flying off a tree and put an end to me, my bike, and this whole trip. All I could think was, “I’ve picked the absolute worst day of the year for this adventure.” But, I like to think of myself as a bit of a positive bloke, so I parked the bike under a rotunda, went into a fish and chip shop with Sam, and told him, “It’ll get much better once we get past Zumsteins.” For those wanting to know, Mackenzie Falls is a cracking spot to visit that’s close by, so make sure you take a look if you’re up this way.
Horsham – No Luck Fixing the Phone
Sam rang ahead to Horsham to see if I could get my phone fixed, but of course, no screens were in stock. We found another place, but they closed at 3 p.m., and we weren’t going to make it. So, we pushed on through Zumsteins—trees and branches littered the road like nature was trying to put an end to us. But we soldiered on, heading to Mount Arapiles and through to Little Desert, finally pulling up at the Nhill Pub. There was a nice toasty fire going, and a few locals rolling in. We sat there, drying off and chatting about the plan ahead.
The New Plan
The original goal was to meet another mate in Renmark the next day, but after all the phone drama and the wild weather, getting to Yunta (7 hours away) seemed like a bit of a stretch. I messaged our mate, telling him the phone was cactus and we’d meet him in Mildura instead.
We wanted to stay at the pub, but the price of the room was a bit too rich for my blood (being a bit of a tightarse), so we rode another 50 clicks to Big Desert and set up camp for the night. And yep, of course it rained that night—just to top it all off.
The Next Morning – Dirt Roads and Slick Tracks
Woke up to face another 100 kilometers of hard-base dirt roads. Sounds alright, doesn’t it? But when there’s a slick layer of mud on top, it turns into a nightmare. Sam had a few offs, and to be honest, I wasn’t having the best time either. Words can’t describe how tough that road was. But we survived and made it to the end of the track, where we ran into some interesting locals.
You know how it is—people love having a yarn with moto riders. A local girl wanted to show off her cracking whip, so she dashed off and came back with it, putting on a bit of a show for us and the other locals. A funny little distraction after the morning we’d had.
Running on Fumes
By then, we were running low on fuel. Pulled into the servo, and surprise, surprise—the card machine didn’t work. We were practically running on fumes, so the next stop was Ouyen. Starving by the time we arrived, I grabbed a choccy milk while Sam cleaned out the bain-marie’s selection of fried mystery goods. Whether that was the right call or not? Time will tell.
Stay tuned for Part 2, where the adventure really kicks off!
– Baba Yaga/Dave
